He is NEVER LATE!!!

Something to always remember:  Never doubt in the darkness what God has told you in the light!!

To go with that, a wise woman once told me Jesus did all His teaching down in the valley. You can't stay on the mountaintop forever. Last week I felt I was on the mountaintop. I got the great news that my lymph node test was negative!! I was rejoicing.. But, before I knew it the devil was at work, trying to steal my joy and rejoicing at the good news with, okay, now why are you doing what you are doing? Isn't it a bit drastic for your lump and stage? On and on, it went for a day or so.  I was determined not to lose this fight! Fight, my head said, fight!!

A day or so later, Meg asked me to describe how I was feeling in ten words or less. I said, unsure.... of what Mom?  I told her and she said, Mom, you know God told you what to do right? I said, Yes. She said, then stand on that. You are right, I told her.  Oh, wise daughter!  Sometimes things are easier said than done.
The thoughts kept coming!! The attacks were there!!

We so enjoyed our stay at the campground with Margaret and Roseanna. We took Margaret swimming and she had a blast. The water was very rough so we couldn't go very far. However, she still loved it.

Meagan, Roseanna and I came home on Monday. I had two pre-op appointments. The first one was with Dr. Hahm, the plastic surgeon. He asked if I had any questions and I had a couple. We took care of them and he asked again, anything else? I said I am a little nervous I think is all. He said you would be very unique if you were not somewhat nervous. All are nervous at this point. I left there with all the answers I needed  and headed to the hospital to do the pre-op there.

While waiting to be called, I sat and played games on my phone. After I came out from the registrant's office, there were two ladies sitting in the where I was going to sit. One of them looked at me and asked if I was there to have surgery. I told her yes. She asked me what kind? I shared some of my story with her. Then she began to share hers with me. Another story of someone having a lumpectomy and radiation and the problems that came with it. She experienced several issues with her breast implants because of her having had radiation. I explained that was why I had chosen to do what I was doing--just those things she was explaining although my doctor does not put implants in ladies my age. Thank you Lord! I shared with her how it had been amonth since I was told my biopsy was positive and how the Lord told me on the way home from the biopsy it was going to be cancer and that He would handle it. She got a funly look on her face.
It is so interesting I thought as I went back to the admitting office at what people will share with complete strangers. I told the nurse I must have one of those faces because many people have shared with me over the years very deep hurts and pains.

Finally, I got done there and headed out to finish my day. After Meagan and I got home last night, we were discussing the day and the encounter I had at the hospital. She said, Mom, this morning I was praying that the Lord would give you peace about your decision and take away the doubt. Then at prayer time at school I had them pray for you again. We just smiled and said. Isn't that just how God is?  I had no idea they were praying for me. They had no idea who I would see during the day. HOWEVER, GOD DID!! I say, PRAISE THE LORD!! FOR YOU ARE NEVER LATE OR EARLY, BUT RIGHT ON TIME.

Know that God is omniscient. He knows all things. Only He can set up encounters like the one I had. It was not by chance. We, as Christians, do not believe in chance. We know God has the powers to do what He did for me on Monday. I praise His name.


This  morning I got a call from a couple in the Charleston chapter. They are going to pay for Norm's stay at a hotel close to the hospital. Lord, What a blessing!!


AARONS AND HURS---PRAYER WARRIORS  

Meagan- 9/22, the night before my lymph node surgery: Sept As I'm laying in bed with my sick headache, I'm praying for you. For you to know how brave you are already are. Remember how many times God said to be brave and courageous? The fight you are fighting is not any smaller than the fights they were fighting. Remember He is your refuge. Rest in Him tonight. Your ever present help in trouble. He is Already in the surgery tomorrow and already knows the outcome. He will guide the drs hands and let them find what they need to. And he will be with you tomorrow. You will feel his perfect peace, the one that passes understanding.
Rachel Butler 9/23  This week marks the new year on the jewish calendar. Each year the number of the year carries a theme. This year is 5775. When I was reading about the meaning of that number I immediately thought of you...so I am declaring this over your life! Rach

5775 "Embracing the Sound of the Whirlwind of Heaven & Unlocking Seeds for Your Future!"

We are approaching a tumultuous, but exciting, Head of the Year. In this season of “seeing and watching,” the power of knowing who you are will become very important! How you express your faith in the midst of the tremendous conflicting interchange between Heaven and Earth will become a major issue, in the advancement of the Kingdom of God. We are completing a season of our path leading us through a new door.

In the Hebraic Year 5775, the sound of Heaven permeates your new land. The year ahead looks like a whirlwind. The whirlwind will release seeds to sow for your future. Doors will be blown off storehouses where seeds of our future have been locked up.

Meagan--9/24--"Fix My Eyes" by For King and Country

Hit rewind
Click delete
Stand face to face with the younger me
All of the mistakes
All of the heartbreak
Here's what I'd do differently

I'd love like I'm not scared
Give when it's not fair
Live life for another
Take time for a brother
Fight for the weak ones
Speak out for freedom
Find faith in the battle
Stand tall but above it all
Fix my eyes on you

I learned the lines and talked the talk (everybody knows that, everybody knows that)
But the road less traveled is hard to walk (everybody knows that, everybody knows)
It takes a soldier
Who knows his orders
To walk the walk I'm supposed to walk

And love like I'm not scared
Give when it's not fair
Live life for another
Take time for a brother
Fight for the weak ones
Speak out for freedom
Find faith in the battle
Stand tall but above it all
Fix my eyes on you
The things of Earth are dimming
In the light of Your glory and grace
I'll set my sights upon Heaven
I'm fixing my eyes on you
I'm fixing my eyes on you
I'm fixing my eyes

Love like I'm not scared
Give when it's not fair
Live life for another
Take time for a brother
Fight for the weak ones
Speak out for freedom
Find faith in the battle
Stand tall but above it all
Fix my eyes on you
I fix my eyes on you
I fix my eyes on you

Jeanne --9/24

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YNqo4Un2uZI

Great Song!!

Jaim'e  9/24  Hope you are resting well after Monday! Miss your sweet smile tonight.

Joni 9/24

Hi Yo!  Thinking of you tonight & hoping you're resting well.  We all missed you & Sandy shared your story.  All are praying for you..You're very loved :)  

 Hey, I heard your song for the first time during praise & worship..OMGoodness girl...couldn't help to think about you & what you're going through.  I know that the Lord has been and will continue to be with you through this whole thing. So many scriptures come to mind..."Be still & know that I am God"; Ps 46:10; "Be strong and courageous, do not fear or be in dread of them for I will never leave you nor forsake you" Deu 31:6., etc.

Yolanda, you are a blessing to so many & I hope that you realize that.  Your faith is evident and constant.  I read your blog today..love it! 

Charles Rhodes sends out a JAT and this song was it for 9/24.I love this song, Marjorie had mentioned it last week. It is a Gaither favorite.

The words of the song, "Through it all" are:

Verse one:
I've had many tears and sorrow,
I've had questions for tomorrow,

there's been times I didn't know right from wrong,
but in every situation,
God gave me blessed consolation,
that my trials come to only make me strong.

Chorus:
Through it all,
Through it all,
I've learned to trust in Jesus,
I've learned to trust in God.

Through it all,
Through it all, I've learned to depend upon his word.

Verse three:
I thank God for the mountains,

and I thank Him for the Valley,

I thank Him for the storms He brought me through,
for it I'd never had a problem,
I wouldn't know God could solve them,
I'd never know what faith in God could do.

Lord, as my brothers and sisters face all sorts of situations today, may they learn that whatever situation they need your love, assurance, comfort, peace, joy, etc. for; That, "Through it all," they would trust in Jesus, they would trust in God, they would depend upon your Word, they would come to know that they are your own, that God is the solution, (He's in control), of their situation, and that their faith would be strengthened.

Jennie- Remount  9/25

Good morning Yolanda.

I pray that this finds you well and with the spirit of joy in hope found in Christ Jesus alone.  May your cup run over!  

Lori Brooks  9/25

I just want you to know that I'm praying for you.  I was very surprised when Sandy gave us the news last night.  Many emotions but the fact that you knew this last week and still was able to teach the class?!!  That right there displays your strength and faith.  You are strong.  You will get through this.  God has you in His arms.  I understand we will be taking turns with dinner for your family.  If there is anything else I can do, please let me know.
Take care.  Will be in touch.  Please hurry back!  We will miss you!

Rita/Dee Green-Sisterhood 9/25

Please know that my mother and I are praying for you.  We’re trusting all will go well for you and you’ll come through this situation just fine.  We see this as another road in life’s journey where you’ll experience, without a doubt, God’s presence and care in your life.  We know that you won’t let worry or fear rule, so we won’t say not to do it.  We're praying for your recovery, whether before or after the surgery, let God's healing be!  Be blessed as you rest and recover through all of this. You have the Maker of the Universe as your Dad!

Cynthia Sullivan, my sister... calls or texts every couple of days, checking up.

Ann Marie Drake, my niece, textx every couple of days thinking of you.

Angie, my oldest daughter... texts or calls every couple of days.  

Helen, Marjorie, Rebecca--thanks so much for the emails and checking up on me. Love you!!

Debbie Mathews--continues to call and send emails... sent Philippians 1:3-11 as a prayer she prayed for me. Whew Lord... You are on time!!

Tammy Godwin--thinking of you emails

Looking ahead,  there are eight days to the surgery.  It seems like a year since the news, but it has only been about one month and a couple of days. So much has happened.  I thank all of you for your continued support and love. It is working 

GREAT NEWS!!!

I am not going to lie here. I am so thrilled about the news I received today:  my lymph nodes' biopsy came back negative!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shelley reminded tonight: I keep thinking about what you said the Lord told you Yolanda. He told you He would handle it. And, boy hasn't He?


1---Led me to the "right" doctors, surgeon and plastic surgeon. Led me to the right prayer warriors!!

2---Sends me scriptures and songs through my prayer warriors!!!


3---I do believe the prayer warriors' prayers are being heard and answered.  I couldn't wait to send out emails and text to those who have been a part of this journey! I once again praise the Lord for you and your obedience!!!

What does this mean?  I will not have to have chemotherapy or radiation after my surgery!  Praise the Lord for that too!!!!!

The Biopsy and a Divine Appointment

Yesterday was the last day of testing in my journey to the main surgery, October 8.
It was a sentinel lymph node biopsy. It will tell the doctor whether or not there is any cancer in the lymph nodes. If it is positive, I will have to have chemo or radiation after the surgery. If it is negative, I won't.  I have it all in the Lord's hands. He knows the beginning and the end of this journey. I am trusting Him to walk me throught, whatever the results. No one wants to go through more injury to your body, but I know if that is the case, He will carry me through.

We arrived at the surgical center a few minutes early. The receptionist took me right on back to check over paperwork and make copies of my insurance cards and driver's license.  It only took a few minutes. Then the waiting began. It wasn't long before a nurse came to get me to go to the back to get prepped and then Norm could come back there.

Again  it was paperwork and checking to see if I was the right person, knew what I was having done and where. Thank goodness I had some sense of mind. I am glad they want to do the right thing on me. That is comforting. We chatted about riding motorcycles with the LPN as we waited for more doctors and nurses to come and do their thing. Before we knew it the nurse anethesist came in and put the "good" juice in the iv and quickly I was fading away. That's the last I remember.

When I awoke an hour had gone by, I was to get dressed and they were reviewing after surgery care with us.Off to the car we went, to wait, now for the results.

I told Norm I was starved so we headed to Waffle House. It is one of my favorite places. It was pretty busy so we chose not to wait for a booth and sat at the lower counter. Next to Norm was an older woman. We began visiting with her.She began sharing about her kids and her own health issues. Before long, I leaned over and asked her if she would allow us to pray for her and her needs. She nodded yes that would be great.
We bowed and Norm prayed over her and the family.

As we left, she stood and asked if she could give us a hug. Certainly we said. She then made the comment, You came in here today just for me.

Folks, all around you are hurting folks. Over the years in CMA (Christian Motorcyclists Association) we have asked many folks if we could pray for them. I bet there have not been 10 who have said no. Almost everyone, if intellectually honest, have a need in their life or someone they know or is close to them.

What a blessing it was to me and Norm.  Lord, help us open our eyes, get them off of ourselves, and see the folks who are hurting and need to hear the good news You have us to share.

Amen

Week of 9/16-9/23 --Aarons and Hur's

There is something about receiving emails, texts, phone calls, and/or cards during a difficult time in your life. The words spoken seem to come from the heart of the person who sent the message. And, God is so on time with those words. They come, not late, not early, but right on time.That's our God. He knows our every detail in our situation, what we have faced so far and what we are going to face in the upcoming days. As I think about this, I will share some of the "words" from folks I have received.

Lessons learned:  
1--I have always been someone who likes to send notes to folks, but have gotten out of the habit. This "time in my life" has brought this back to my attention. How important we are to those in need.
2--When you answer the call to pray... for someone else, you receive a blessing too.

Monday--9/16
Received a devotional from Lisa T.
While I may have read in my Bible that we are in a spiritual war, that truth had not fully adjusted my expectations of this life.
To accept that life is supp;osed to be hard is the beginning of joy.
There is freedom in understanding that Heaven is coming and we are not there yet.  we're called to live, instead, aware that we are at war with a ruthless enemy who is trying to destroy us if we are living surrendered to Jesus...
Something about war makes us better. We live more thankful, less numb.  We aren't quite so spoiled... (God) allows us to suffer because we change through suffering.
We hurt with others better. We Become humble. We want him more...
Honestly, we grow up through suffering.
And most of us need to grow up.  I've learned to quit wishing away the hard stuff. Because I don't want to mis all the good stuff that goes with it.
jennie, allen, Anything
We do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor or God. Ephesians 6:12-13
In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. Jn. 16:33

9/16 Rachel Butler called with some encouraging words and to just see how I was doing. 
9/17 Rachel texted me to see how my day was going.
Teresa Davis texted me to let me know God brought me to her mind.
9/16 Tammy Robinson called to see how I was doing. Such encouragement from so many busy folks.
9/16 Intercessory Prayer group from church sent a card:  With God all things are possible. Mt. 19:26    A place to rest...a reason to hope...the strength to press on... His great love will provide all you need.
9/18 Pat Allen called to check up on me.
Text messages durng the week and past weeks from Becky Dejernes. (TN)
9/21  Donna Ondrajka brought me the sweetest card. What a way with words. The card was so humbling. WOW!  Texts come every few days just to see how I am doing...
Rick/Retta sent a card: it read:  In hard times she had learned three things:  she was stronger than she ever imagined. Jesus was closer that she ever realized. And, she was loved more than she ever knew.
Loved this card from Mary Pittman of Faith Christian School--May you sense the Lord's loving presence today...keeping you close to His heart..assuring you of His tender care, and covering you with His grace.
Tammy Godwin, Marjorie Price and Helen Morelli-- many calls and emails... thank you ladies!!
Debbie Goldman-- many devotionals on healing and enouragement
Teresa Luma-Tingler and Shelley Hartley-- phone calls, offers to babysit grandkids for us, words of encouragement
Kevin/Sandy McMahan-- words of encouragement
Janice Pendley--encouraging words-- Love the analogy Aaron and Hur are like the folks praying 
for me right now.. That is a beautiful picture.
Janice:  Psalm 27:7-8-- Hear my voice when I call, Lord; be merciful to me and answer me. My heart says of you, "Seek his Face!  Your face, Lord, I will seek.
Rebecca Hopkins-- she and her prayer group at church are praying


FAMILY AARON'S AND HURS
Norm:  He is the calm one. All through this process, he is the ROCK. He just keeps saying, let's our information together and make decisions then. Let's don't borrow trouble from tomorrow.  He is NOT worried, just concerned.   He has been there for every doctors' appointment and  every test! There have been many. We have learned alot about this process and what questions to ask. Thank you Lord for the calm husband, always by my side!!

Angie:our oldest daughter. She is the "strong" one so to speak. She keeps her emotions close to her side. She went with us to get the results of the first biopsy and the consultation with Dr. LaFond. She has a great mind who listens closely to what is said and remembers it later. She came to Dr. LaFond's meeting with good questions.

Meagan: our youngest daughter. She is the "emotional" one. She has the gift of mercy and has a tendency to "worry" ahead of time. Norm is continually telling her not to worry about the kids. Norm and I keep their girls 4 days a week, so she is wanting to make sure they are taken care of and I am able to do it. She doesn't want to put anything on us if she can help it. We are encouraging her to wait and see.  Let's make some plans but let's see how mom does before we make too many decisions.

Cynthia:  my sister.  She has been there from the beginning, with all kinds of good questions and support. Since she has had ovarian cancer, she, too, is concerned about this issue with me. She doesn't want to bother me with her texts. I say, there is no bother. I hear only concern and I need that support. Keep texting.  All of this may effect her too.

Ann Marie: my neice: she is the quiet one. Her texts come in the way of thinking of you and praying for you. I so appreciate all the notes... from her. I do love her and her family and their newest addition, Robbie. He is so much fun. You go Ann Marie. You are doing great!!!

To all, if I have missed someone:  please know each contact made has been very special to me. I do believe it is all a part of what God told me that day:  this is going to be cancer and I am going to handle it. He handles it by sending those He knows will respond to His asking to call, send a note, make a meal, visit, pray, text, email or whatever it is He has asked you to do.  No one thing is more important than another. God knows the timing when things are needed and He sends the Holy Spirit to do His bidding. I thank all of you for being obedient. You have blessed me more than you could every know. There is more time to come,  the surgery and the recovery. I will continue to need you in my life, more than ever.  Love to all of you!!!

Psalm 55:22  Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.


Good pieces of advice during this time:


Remember:  I Can't !   You Can!!  You can Through Me!!

                      Focus less on what's wrong and more on what's right!!

                       God will use what He does not move!!

These are what Stormie Omartian would call Prayer Warriors. When the Lord brought me to their mind, they prayed and put feet to their prayers. What a comfort in the time of waiting !! This life is a journey. Each season takes time. My personality is one that wants to find the solution and get busy at it. Not so with this situation. It's a process and none of the steps can be skipped. 

More Doctors! More NEWS!!

Tuesday dawned and two more doctors were on dock for the day!
First was Dr. Schiempf, a plastic surgeon.  He was a quiet man, who talked to us about the options we had with him as the surgeon. He would do the reconstructive surgery about two weeks following the mastectomy surgery. He gave us one piece of valuable information about radiation-- once you have it on an area, you can not have it on that area again.  I tried to ask all the doctors involved about the reocurrence of cancer when patients have a lumpectomy. All I have ever heard is that women complain that after a lumpectomy the cancer returns and they have to go through all the trauma again. Now, let's face it. The Lord is in control of all! I know that. However, it seems that there is a risk of it returning with a lumpectomy. And, with a lumpectomy you had to have radiation and  hormone therapy for anywhere from five to ten years.
Dr. Hahm had mentioned Monday that he personally would not have radiation because it effects your whole body. There is no way to radiate just one area.  Hmmmmm.. more information.

Later that day I went to see Dr. Miller, at Dr. Martin's OB/GYN office.  If the BRCA test comes back positive, there is a good chance I will have my ovaries taken out soon also. WOW! Can you imagine?  There is a huge risk because my sister had ovarian cancer before the age of 50.  I never knew so much about cancer, how it's passed genetically and how the treatments effect you. Now, it's up close and personal. I want to know as much as possible so I can make a good decision based on what the Lord wants me to do.
Dr. Miller did her exam and we talked at length about the cancer in the family and what is going on with me right now. We will wait to make any more decisions until after the BRCS test comes back. She mentioned that since the gene had been cracked, information abounds.  Lots to keep up with!!!

(I did spend some time at a breast cancer blog site, checking out information on radiation and hormone therapy.  You have to be so careful in this situation. You don't want to read so much you are scared to death. I would ask the Lord to take out what I didn't need to know so I wouldn't be confused.-- He is so faithful. He led me to the site through a magazine article in Woman's Day magazine since October is breast cancer awareness month. He is  never late--- always on time!!)

On Wednesday, we got the good news that the BRCA test came back negative! Praise the Lord.  That is great news for me and the girls. Again, we all know God is in control of all things. So, there may be a plan in mind we don't know anything about. But, we do know genetically the risks are low. Praise Him again.

Thursday, time for the MRI at Roper.  Down we go. There is no one in the check in waiting room. Norm and I begin a conversation with the ladies checking me in. We talk about our trip out west and what a great time we had. The one lady wants to ride out there one day, when she retires. Right away they came to get me for the test.  WOW! What a trip that was! It took one hour to do the test. Now you know what that meant?  Face down, arms above your head, stretched out with an iv in for the dye. You get so stiff in that position for so long. And, I had no idea how much was going by, but at one point I could feel deep in the pit of my stomach that I was beginning to feel panicky....I began to pray.. Lord, please help me to remain calm. I don't want to start screaming in this tube. AND, HE DID!  Soon, it was over. AND, MORE WAITING TO COME!!

I told Meagan that the waiting was the hardest part and seemed to be what we were doing the most of !!!
Because of what she had been through with getting pregnant, she asked me if I wanted her waiting scriptures. I laughed and told her NO!! Emphatically!!  God does have a sense of humor!!! We are to be learning while we are waiting. What, Lord, do you want me to learn?  I am open!!

Friday-- Teresa, Shelley, and Connie came out to see me and spend some time here. I am so thankful for the lady friends God has placed in my life. They don't know how much each "thing" they have done means to me during this what could be a trying time. They have helped in their own way to support my "peace" as we go through the process.

While they were here with me, Dr. Beatty called with the results from the MRI. She said they found a second lump and she needed to know what I was thinking my decision would be. I told her the double mastectomy was the way I was leaning (I was thinking I had hoped to have a few more weeks to decide.).  She said she would not need to do another biopsy then on the second lump, but would need to do a lymph node biopsy to determine if any cancer is in the lymph nodes. Another piece of neat informatin I have learned. Your have several lymph nodes under your arm. The "top" lymph node is like a barrier. If there is no cancer there, there is no cancer in the other lymph nodes. If there is cancer there, then it is in the other lymph nodes. If the test comes back positive, I will need radiation or chemotherapy.  Her office would be calling to set up the lymph node biopsy soon.  She wants all the information she can get before we go to the main surgery.
 WOW! I didn't know exactly what to think!!  Another step in the process.  More waiting!!!

You can't know until you are in a boat like this what EVERY ITEM OF ENCOURAGEMENT DOES- the phone calls, the texts, the emails, the cards..... each one is sent from the Lord at the exact time it is needed! Oh so like the Lord... He uses His ministering angels.

THE ROCKS:
Leslie Leech brought me a beautiful plant and card before we went to the rally. It was so appropriate and hit the nail on the head as to how I was feeling. Thanks Leslie.
Mary Pittman sent me the sweetest card today.  She included a great scripture:
Psalm 118:1,6, 17, 28
Oh Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever.
The Lord is on my side; I will not fear.
I shall not die, but live, adn declare the works of the Lord.
You are my god, and I will praise You; You are my God, I will exalt You.
Email from Kevin/Sandy
Sermon:  Experiencing power and presence of healing-- something to grab-- thanks Lana
Mary Ellen Reid-- great prayer and encouragement
Ruth-- love the card
Tammy G.-- thinking of you email
Helen M.and Marjorie P send emails every couple of days...
Debbie Mathews calls every couple of days with encouraging words and asking how I am and where am I in the process..
Ed/Sylvia  Miller--thinking of you email
Sandy Dandridge/Joni Kempka-- emails and calls every couple of days with encouraging words and thoughts
Jeanne Burgaugher--phone calls, emails, texts
Rachel Butler--phone calls, emails, texts

Doctors!!

We had three doctors' visits scheduled for the week of September 8. Our first visit was on Monday, September 8. It was with the breast cancer sugeon, Dr. Jennifer Beatty, whose office had been recommended because all she does is breast cancer surgeries.  Norm and I headed to the visit not knowing what to expect, but having heard great things about Dr. Beatty.  She came in and she's this petite lady who is full of confidence and personality. Norm was looking at a pamphlet about breast cancer and she asked him about it. He told her the pictures helped and she laughed and asked him if he learned anything? Yes, we did.  Very interesting. She told us I had stage 0 and that was great and a great survival rate. Talk about good news! Then she began outlining what my options were to take care of it. One, I could have a lumpectomy, two-one mastectomy or have a double mastectomy. Same options as Dr. LaFond. That was good news. At least they were on the same page. Then we discussed what went with each option and family history. I told her I had had the BRCA test and she was glad of that! She told me the choice was all mine! No one could make it for me and there was no wrong choice! WOW!!! Talk about pressure!!! What do I do?  Not sure. We also discussed reoccurrence with each option. Knowledge is power when making a choice like this.
Then we talked about the mastectomy/ies and what would happen with those choices. She said she used Dr. Hahm as her plastic surgeon. I loved what she said. She didn't choose him because he was a drinking buddy or because she played golf with him or hung out with him socially. She chose him because of outcome and stressed that.  It was good to hear that!!  She went on to say that he worked in her office on Monday, and this was Monday, so she was going to have us meet with him while we were there. WOW!! God put things together fast.  Thank you Lord. Your timing is perfect!!
Dr. Hahm came in and he was a hoot. He explained to us what he would do. I would be the envy of all my friends he told us. I would have perky books, whatever size I wanted, and a flat stomach, from a free tummy tuck. Norm commented he didn't necessarily want me showing my perky boobs off to my friends,  and we all laughed. I like the humor among the serious discussion. It helps keep things in perspective. When else would I ever be able to have a paid for by insurance tummy tuck and perky boobs, both he and Dr. Beatty commented.  Oh my goodness!! So much to think about.  (I had to cancel my appointment with Dr. Miller, an ob/gyn because I was too long in Dr. Beatty's office.)
When we left that office, Norm and I agreed we would go with Dr. Beatty and Dr. Hahm. Even though we were going to do that, I was going to keep my appointment with Dr. Schiempf the next day, another plastic surgeon who worked with Dr. LaFond.
My head was swimming with information, and more was to come.

THE ROCKS:
I got an email that day with the following song:  Christ Be All Around You by Michael W. Smith
As I rise, strength of God
Go before, lift me up
As I wake, eyes of God
Look upon, be my sight

As I wait, heart of God
Satisfy and sustain
As I hear, voice of God
Lead me on, be my guide
Be my guide

Above and below me
Before and behind me
In every eye that sees me
Christ be all around me  (2x)

As I go, hand of God
My defense by my side
As I rest, breath of God
Fall upon me, bring me peace
Bring me peace

Above and below me
Before and behind me
In every eye that sees me
Christ be all around me  (2x)
Oh, Christ, be all around me
Your life, your death,
Your blook was shed
For every moment, every moment (4x)



Above and below me
Before and behind me
In every eye that sees me
Christ be all around me  (2x)
Oh, Christ, be all around me. (2x)

That is such a beautiful testimony of what prayers do for us when in the throes of a difficult time.
Thank you Kevin and Sandy.

Psalm 5:2-3
Hear my cry for help, my King and my God, for you I pray.
In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.

Thank you Lord for your promises!
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!  I Can't !  You Can!  You Can do it through ME!

Oh NO!-- 9/1-9/4

The Christian Motorcyclists Association SC State Rally was fast approaching! I was nowhere near ready.  I needed to get my children's service materials together and make my plans. I needed to write up the song we were going to sing. I also needed to finalize my devotion for the ladies' seminar on the Daughters of Zeleophehed. Along with all of that, there was the first night of Sisterhood to prepare for. Where am I going to get the time?  I had been consumed since the 27th with the news from the biopsy. Each day seemed to get filled with things other than what I needed to be.  Then, to top it off, on Monday I got a stomach bug and spent most of the day in bed. Lord, you know what I have to do this week before Thursday. Help me please.  Three things happened that week--Darcy Turner texted me one morning to say she had been thinking of me and the song While I'm Waiting by John Waller. It is a beautiful testimony of what to do when waiting on the Lord:  move ahead, bold and confident, be hopeful, patiently wait, no matter how painful; worship, don't faint, keep running the race, be peaceful, faithfully wait, and serve while waiting.  Praise You, Lord.

The second thing was on Wednesday at the Y: While riding the stationery bicycle, I listened to a sermon called Yes, You Can by Andy Stanley.  It is a part of a series named, In The Meantime...what do you do when you can do nothing about the situation you are in. Boy, was he talking to me. That is exactly how I felt. There has been nothing I could do abou tthis situation since the beginning mammogram in May. And, now, nothing had changed that. There was still nothing I could DO!  YET,  this sermon really spoke to me.  The verse was Philippians 4:13--I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. He explained that most people who quote that scripture do not use it in the context with which it was written. He went to talk about the verses in front of that scriptrue, in particular Philippians 4:7-- I have learned to be content.  4:13 is in reference to that idea of being content... no matter the circumstances. We all know the situations Paul was in during his life--shipwrecked, beaten..... on and on. yet, Paul was able to say....I have learned to be content. That was me.. My situation and where I was at that very moment in time. I was content "at peace", even knowing what I might be facing.  It was great to hear how Andy put it. He said in short version to say:

"I can't. You (Christ) can! You can do it through me."  

It is about being at peace no matter what is going on around you and in your life.
 I want to live this verse and this principle out during this time and situation.
WOW!! It was a cool feeling to know Christ was working in me and I was  continuing to have the peace I had from the first day on.

And, third on Thursday, September 4th, we headed to Table Rock for the SC CMA State Rally. I was riding alone and listening to Andy Stanley sermons. I received a text from Angie V. about asking me to consider getting a second opinion from a doctor who specializes in breast cancer surgeries.  Hmmmm, I thought. Maybe I will.  I gave the GP doctor a call and asked the receptionist. She said she would ask the doctor and give me a call back, but she thought it was a good idea.  Later that day she called to say he had said yes and the referral department would be calling me soon. Later on, to my surprise, they called to say I had an appointment on Monday, September 8 with Dr. Beatty.  Thank you, Lord.


I has asked my friends who were going to the rally NOT to say anything to anyone at the rally about my situation. I explained I did not want to be at the center of the rally, having to explain over and over my situation.  I did not think I could handle all of that emotion.  I give the Lord the praise that my friends honored my wishes and only a few people came to me and asked me about the situation and prayed with me. One of the chapter prayer leaders came to me and asked me if he could anoint me oil and pray for me. He felt the Holy Spirit had led him to me to do this. I was honored and humbled by the prayer leaders' acts of kindness and their willingness to pray. Saturday night, three couples from one of the chapters came to the front and asked me if they could pray for me and Norm and the family. What a sweet blessing that was!
It seems I don't have time to be "down". The Lord keeps sending me notes, messages, cards or calls from His ministering angels.

Sunday morning, Norm was closing out the rally and got choked up he asked the group to be in prayer for me.   Afterwards, a group of ladies came to me and asked if they could pray for me, now that I had spent the weekend serving them. Of course, I agreed. Turning down prayer is not a good idea. I so appreciated that they cared and wanted to pray.  Powerful ladies!!!


Psalm 55:22--- Cast your cares on the Lord and he will never let the righteous be shaken.
Also Heb.13:5  I will never leave you nor forsake you.

What great promises from the Lord!!
My  Rocks for the week:
Garth Winsor
Keith Honeycutt
Vivian Clardy
Marsha Burns
Sandy Dandridge  --suggested a new book  The Best Yes
Darcy Turner sent me the following devotional: HOW TRUE

Psalm 57:1-3

When you face a crisis, what is your first line of defense? The natural response is to attempt to fix the problem in your own strength. God, however, gives us a different way to handle difficulty.

David was no stranger to pressure or sudden appearances of evil. When he wrote Psalm 57, he was facing many hardships—including pursuit by King Saul, who wanted to kill him (1 Sam 24). The shepherd’s response was to cry out to God and take refuge in Him until the calamity had passed.

Let’s learn from David’s example by exploring his words. Today, we will focus on the One to whom the psalmist cries.

First, David refers to God as El Elyon, or Supreme Ruler; He is the Most High with all power and wisdom, the only One who can help us in our need.

Second, the Psalm says that God is our refuge. If He is a place of shelter for our soul, then we need not fear. He hovers over us and protects us when crises arise and leave us feeling helpless.

Third, the Psalm expresses complete confidence that the Almighty can and will accomplish all things. He will do whatever is necessary to intervene on our behalf, to hold accountable those who oppose us, and to surround us with His love and truth.

During His time on earth, Jesus displayed great passion. Therefore, we can approach Him when emotions run high. If your heart is troubled, cry out to the Lord. Know that you come before the throne of Him who is a powerful protector, capable and willing to do all you need.

Hard to believe it had only been 10 days since the news!! At times, the clock seemed to stand still. And, yet I had so much to do following that August day that I didn't have much to sit and ponder the diagnosis and its implications.

Weekend of 8/29

Debbie Mathews has been a constant flow of encouragement since this all started. We began telling some of our friends and asking for prayer. My Sisterhood leaders knew I was going in for a biopsy and had been checking to see what the outcome was. Trying to tell folks all the information is exhausting! I am so thankful for their support and willingness to call, text or email and want to keep all in the loop as they pray for me. I don't want any of my encouragers to think they are a bother to me. There are no words to express the thanks for their prayers, kind words, calls, text and emails. Only the Lord knows and can bless them !!

Donate

• Oswald Chambers’ Bio
• About
• Updated Edition
• Login

The Unsurpassed Intimacy of Tested Faith

08

29

2014

Jesus said to her, ’Did I not say to you that if you would believe you would see the glory of God?’ —John 11:40

Every time you venture out in your life of faith, you will find something in your circumstances that, from a commonsense standpoint, will flatly contradict your faith. But common sense is not faith, and faith is not common sense. In fact, they are as different as the natural life and the spiritual. Can you trust Jesus Christ where your common sense cannot trust Him? Can you venture out with courage on the words of Jesus Christ, while the realities of your commonsense life continue to shout, “It’s all a lie”? When you are on the mountaintop, it’s easy to say, “Oh yes, I believe God can do it,” but you have to come down from the mountain to the demon-possessed valley and face the realities that scoff at your Mount-of-Transfiguration belief (see Luke 9:28-42). Every time my theology becomes clear to my own mind, I encounter something that contradicts it. As soon as I say, “I believe ’God shall supply all [my] need,’ ” the testing of my faith begins (Philippians 4:19). When my strength runs dry and my vision is blinded, will I endure this trial of my faith victoriously or will I turn back in defeat?

Faith must be tested, because it can only become your intimate possession through conflict. What is challenging your faith right now? The test will either prove your faith right, or it will kill it. Jesus said, “Blessed is he who is not offended because of Me” Matthew 11:6). The ultimate thing is confidence in Jesus. “We have become partakers of Christ if we hold the beginning of our confidence steadfast to the end . . .” (Hebrews 3:14). Believe steadfastly on Him and everything that challenges you will strengthen your faith. There is continual testing in the life of faith up to the point of our physical death, which is the last great test. Faith is absolute trust in God— trust that could never imagine that He would forsake us (see Hebrews 13:5-6).

The Rocks

 There are so many folks who began encouraging me from the first day. They were praying about the biopsy and were interested in knowing what the outcome was from it.

One of them was Debbie Mathews. She  has been a constant flow of encouragement since this all started. We began telling some of our friends and asking for prayer. My Sisterhood leaders knew I was going in for a biopsy and had been checking to see what the outcome was. Trying to tell folks all the information was exhausting! I am so thankful for their support and willingness to call, text or email and want to keep all in the loop as they pray for me. I don't want any of my encouragers to think they are a bother to me. There are no words to express the thanks for their prayers, kind words, calls, text and emails. Only the Lord knows and can bless them !!

Debbie and I had talked on Thursday about our faith and how God tested us to see if we believed what we say believe. He has asked us some hard questions as we have come into very difficult situations. "Do you really believe who you say I am ?"

This is a devotion by Oswald Chambers, from August 29th. Just two days after the diagnosis and our discussion.  This was the beginning of many to come---devotionals, songs, scriptures, enouraging words. Isn't this just like GOD?  Only He could make all this work together!!

The Unsurpassed Intimacy of Tested Faith

Jesus said to her, ’Did I not say to you that if you would believe you would see the glory of God?’ —John 11:40

Every time you venture out in your life of faith, you will find something in your circumstances that, from a commonsense standpoint, will flatly contradict your faith. But common sense is not faith, and faith is not common sense. In fact, they are as different as the natural life and the spiritual. Can you trust Jesus Christ where your common sense cannot trust Him? Can you venture out with courage on the words of Jesus Christ, while the realities of your commonsense life continue to shout, “It’s all a lie”? When you are on the mountaintop, it’s easy to say, “Oh yes, I believe God can do it,” but you have to come down from the mountain to the demon-possessed valley and face the realities that scoff at your Mount-of-Transfiguration belief (see Luke 9:28-42). Every time my theology becomes clear to my own mind, I encounter something that contradicts it. As soon as I say, “I believe ’God shall supply all [my] need,’ ” the testing of my faith begins (Philippians 4:19). When my strength runs dry and my vision is blinded, will I endure this trial of my faith victoriously or will I turn back in defeat?

Faith must be tested, because it can only become your intimate possession through conflict. What is challenging your faith right now? The test will either prove your faith right, or it will kill it. Jesus said, “Blessed is he who is not offended because of Me” Matthew 11:6). The ultimate thing is confidence in Jesus. “We have become partakers of Christ if we hold the beginning of our confidence steadfast to the end . . .” (Hebrews 3:14). Believe steadfastly on Him and everything that challenges you will strengthen your faith. There is continual testing in the life of faith up to the point of our physical death, which is the last great test. Faith is absolute trust in God— 

 The calm I continued to experience could only come from the Lord Himself. What an expression of the peace that only He can bring into a time like this. I praise Him!!

August 29- The Surgeon's Visit

As I write this, I am looking back. Things seem kinda surreal. Like, is this really happening?  Yes, it is happening and I am in control, says the Lord. AND, HE SURELY IS... EVERY STEP OF THE WAY.

Angie, Meagan, Norm and I arrived at the surgeon's office. On the door to the patients' rooms, it said only one person allowed to go back with the patients. Oh Boy! That was not going to work.  When I turned in my paperwork, I asked the girl if my family could go back with me when I spoke to the doctor and she said yes. WHEW!! Thank you , Lord.

We spent about 30-45 minutes with Dr. LaFond. He was very thorough with us, explaining and drawing pictures for us of the cancer, where it was and what my options were going to be. He was encouraging as he, too, said, we have some time before we do surgery. I don't want to wait months, but we have some weeks to gather some information.  We discussed at length the pros and cons of each of my choices- lumpectomy with radiation, one breast removal or double mastectomy. We also discussed reconstructive surgery and treatment following each of the choices. I had prepared a list of questions with the girls' help. I made sure that we had answered all of the questions. We also discussed my family history. WOW!! This could really impact my girls and their families, depending on what the BRCA test showed. Dr. LaFond assure us that most patients come back with negative results on that test. He was patient with us and he walked us through each part until the family was satisfied we had all the informatin we needed right then. As we were preparing to leave, he patted me on the leg and said.. you have alot of things to think about. Boy, did I know it and my head was swimming!!  My next step was to have the BRCA test done as soon as they could schedule it and to schedule me an appointment with a plastic surgeon..

Angie had to go finish a job she was doing so Meg, Norm and I headed to Cracker Barrel for supper and to discuss further what we had discussed with Dr. Lafond.  It is so good to have more than just you in the meeting with doctors at a time like this. All hear different things from what the doctor says to you.

IT IS AMAZING THAT EACH DAY GOD HAS GIVEN ME PEACE. There have been roller coaster days when one minute you hear something good and the next day you hear something not so good. But, soon after the Lord takes control and the Peace returns
Philippians 4:7 says And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
That is the KEY.... only He can give you that peace.  I know my cancer is not at the stages many ladies face nor is it aggressive as far as we know.  There were definitely positive aspects to consider: it is an early stage, localized, treatable...... however it is still the C word and scary. So, with that being said, I am so thankful God has given me HIS PEACE.

The day of this meeting I received two sets of scriptures from friends:
Isaish  30:21---whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it"!  Praise to You, Father for your wisdom, guidance and direction.

And, one of my favorite:   Psalm 91
Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust.
surely He will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find reguge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.
A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.
You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.
If you say,  The Lord is my refuge, and you make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will life you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread on the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
Because he loves me, says the Lord, I will resuce him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble. I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.

WOW WHAT MORE COULD WE NEED THAN THAT??
PRAISE THE LORD!!!!

August 27--Confirmation

August 25-- Jaim'e, one of my Sisterhood leaders, emailed me today. She said she was thinking of me and wanted me to know.  I replied, thank you so much. Tomorrow is the biopsy. WOW! That's God! Giving encouragement through His Prayer Warrior at just the time I needed it.

August 26-- Angie Valmus sent me an email saying she was thinking of me. Little did she know what I would be facing that day. BUT, GOD did and laid me on her heart. The prayer warrior responded and I was encouraged !! God continues to amaze me in how He touches folks to reach out to others!!

August 27 dawned a beautfiul day. We had plans to go the YMCA and work out for a couple of hours. Since we have returned from our trip, we have joined the Y and are going at least three times a week to work out and get stronger physically. It has been a great joy and it gives the girls some time with other kids.

It is hard to explain the peace I felt that morning! I was not anxious at all.  NOT me!  God was in control and all I could think about was what He had said the day before. We went on to the Y as usual.  As I was riding the stationery bike, around 10, my phone buzzed. I looked down at the number and it was my GP doctor's office calling. I knew! Way down in my gut I knew! They were calling to say the results were positive.  I ended my session and went downstairs to call them back. The receptionist said the doctor would like to see me that day to discuss the results of my biopsy. WOW! If it had been good news, they would have told me over the phone, but I knew Dr Sutterlin wouldn't do that! Later, he told us that.  What next? I found Norm and told him we had an appointment at 2 with Dr. Sutterlin. Then I called the girls to tell them the news. I told them they were welcome to attend the appointment if they wanted to so they could hear what the doctor had to say too. They are a part of this whole ordeal and want them to know that!:

2:00 came and all of us were there, including my son-in-law. We all listened as DR Sutterlin explained there were two lumps. He said they found carcinoma in one lump. It was in early stages and localized in that area--in the ducts. We all sat there and listened as he talked to us about what to do next.  He said you do not have to have surgery tomorrow. We have some time. Good!! All asked a few questions of him. He wanted to know who we would use as a surgeon. I don't really have one -- except Dr. Lafond for my gall bladder. That would be good, he said. He does breast cancer too. Ok. Great.  His referral department would be calling with an appointment soon because he would mark it urgent.  After about 30 minutes we left and went outside to do some talking. Norm is so calm... he said let's not assume anything but wait until we get some more information before we decide what to do next. Good advice.  Although I know the girls were having a hard time. Angie had to go back to work and off she headed. I felt bad for her.. But maybe it was good to go back to normalcy. From now on out, nothng would be "normal" as we know it, for awhile.

Norm, Meg, Dale and I went to get something to eat. We chatted about all the information we had so far and the genetic testing. While sitting there, the referral department called with an appointment with Dr. LaFond for the Friday of that week. WOW! I was amazed at the speed we got an appointment.

It was a time for craziness, upset, emotions, .... and all that goes with hearing the C word. But, I am so thankful I can say I was at peace. Did I know what was going to happen? NO! Did I know the one in control of what was going to happen?  YES!  And He had promised to handle this for me!! He kept reminding me of this and has kept reminding me of this the whole time.

It's funny that when something like this happens, it seems like time would stop for a day or two so you could have some time to ponder it all. But, life goes on, work goes on....... all around you folks are going through their daily routines. And you feel like you need it all to STOP!  It's like walking around in a dream or maybe nightmare for a short time!!!

This is the third time God has asked me a VERY HARD QUESTION:   Do you really believe I am who you say I am?  You say this with your lips while things are going well. Will you say them now?  It is easy to speak positively of God when things are going well. But, what about when the tough spots come, and they will. What do we say then? There is only one answer:  Yes, I believe YOU are who YOU say you are and whom I've declared YOU are!!!  I can only answer this because of Who He is in ME. This response is NOT me, but HIM in me!! 

The Day Arrives- August 26- Second Try

Norm and I headed for Roper Hospital, with not much understanding of what was going to happen and how. We knew I would be lying down on a table for the biopsy, but that was it.
I got there and checked in. Within minutes they came to get me and off we went.
Paperwork and more paperwork is the mantra for every doctors' office. It would help if they had a central place they could go to get our informatin. LOL

A nurse explained what was going to be happening. She said the results would be back within a day. WOW!! That's amazing to me.

Next, I went into the room with the lady who would be doing the set up for the biopsy. I would lying down prone on a table--VERY HARD TABLE AND COLD!! Once I got into position, I would have to be very still with my hands up around my head. This was not the most comfortable position to be in for sure.

She explained that the longest part would be setting up the view for the doctor. And, off we went --- AGAIN!!!  Amazingly, she had the same issues the other office had. After two tries, she said she had one more way to try and had me turn around in a different direction. I then asked what would happen if this didn't work. She explained I would have to have surgery to do the biopsy. WOW! Silently I prayed. Lord, please take care of this and make it work.  PRaise the Lord HE heard.  The doctor came and began to tell what would happen. He inserted the numbing med into the breast and within 10 minutes, after 45 minutes of getting in the right spot, he was done. Off, I went... the nurse came in to tell me what to do with the biopsy place on the breast and then I was ushered into a room to speak to the doctor and a breast navigator.
They told me I was to call the next day around 2 pm to get the results of the biopsy. The breast navigator and I talked for about 30 minutes. If it was positive, and I used Roper, she would by my liasion-- between me and all of my doctors.  WOW ! We made an instant connnection.  I shared my family history with cancer,(I have had melanoma, my sister has had ovarian, my mom had breast cancer and my dad had prostate and pancreatic), and she suggested I have some genetic counseling done. All the cancers in my family were part of a cluster and cancer is passed down genetically. Boy, was I surprised! I had been told many years ago cancer ran in families but was not genetic! What a shock that was!!!
(as I listened to her, I kept wondering why was I talking to her before I had results)
Hmmmm. looking back I know God knew already what I would be facing and was beginning to give me some information for what I was about to face.

As we were driving home that afternoon, I felt the Lord say to me audibly but in a whisper... This biopsy is going to be cancer, and I am going to handle. WHAT????    I did not say a word to Norm. Maybe it was negative thinking.. hard to think positive sometimes facing these things.. Maybe it was me!! Not a word I said at that time.

Meg came up later that evening. Norm had gone to guitar lessons. I shared with her what I felt the Lord had said to me. She said WoW mom. She was flabbergasted!  I shared with her I had not even told her dad. Why, she asked. I am afraid it is just me. She encouraged me by saying, MOM, you know God's voice. He ha spoken to you before.  She was right, He had.  When Norm came home that night I shared with him what I felt the Lord was saying.  Not much to say to that!  He commented, let's just wait and see what the results are tomorrow.

Looiking back, God is so faithful and true. He does not lead us astray. I must learn to trust more.. But this was a HUGE deal, not just a tiny issue!! Doesn't matter!  We must know HIS voice and trust it when we hear it. He has our best in mind!!! Heb. 13:5   I will never leave you nor forsake you. (the Lord is speaking here) That was at work--- from the first mammogram in May until this day in August -- the 26th. You can take Him at His Word.

The Initial Biopsy--August 13

August 13 finally came!  I didn't really know what to expect as Norm and I arrived at the imaging office. I didn't really get nervous until about 30 minutes before the visit. (Cancer did cross my mind and when it would I tried to think of what the doctor had said to me. And reminded myself once again that God was in control of it all.)

I went into the room finally and the girls told me what to do to get ready for the biopsy and explained what was goingt to happen. They would inject numbing medicine into the breast and on the outside of the breast. Then go into the breast and remove part of the lump for testing. Then the  work began as they tried to align the machine with the breast so the doctor could see exactly where to insert the needle for the biopsy. What an experience!!  Three times they tried it with me lying down on the table.. that's 15 shots with the imaging machine! (you know what I mean--compression)  They were not able to get the view they needed. The doctor came in to discuss the issue with them. She told me she heard Robin Williams say one time that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. (He had died the night before.)  So, she said, they would be lying me down on my side to try to get the view they needed. They had me leave the office for a few minutes and Norm and I visited in a room while they worked with the machine, checking it out and getting ready to try again. Finally, I went back in for another try. TO NO AVAIL!  Now it was 5 times- 3 times sitting up and 2 lying down and NO view.   The technicians apologized profusely. The doctor came in and said she didn't know what to say but I'm sorry. I told her it wasn't her fault the machine wasn't working properly.  The technicians said they would call the guy who worked on the machine and after he came in and fixed it they would get back in touch with me. 
 The next afternoon they called to tell me it wasn't the machine. The machine could not compress enough to get the view because of where the lumps were located. I would need to have a different type of biopsy, one where I was lying face down on a table and they would do the biopsy from underneath. They would let my doctor know and scheduling would be calling soon.
Scheduling called and I was set up for August 26 at Roper Hospital.

More time to wait!  Still the peace was there. All of it had been a little unnerving. Again, the only thing that rang through my mind was what the doctors had told my mom. God, you are in control!  Everything is in His timing!!

Looking Back-- A Defining Moment in Time May 2014-August 2014

As I look back on the months from May to August is light of what I know now, I am amazed at how God  protected me and my mind from worry and anxiety.

During May I went for a routine mammogram. I had not been to one in three years. Little did I know how that one visit would change my life forever.

A few days after the mammogram, I got a phone from the imaging office that I needed to go back in and have some more tests done.  The day came and I had an ultrasound to get a better look at my breasts. At the end the doctor came in and said to me. I see some lumps in your breast that weren't there three years ago. I'd like to do a biopsy on them to see what they are. She went on to say she really felt they were mineral deposits as we have them all over our body. She really thought they were nothing to worrry about.
I then explained we were leaving the next week for our 2 month vacation out west and asked her what she thought. Should I have the biopsy before I left or postpone the trip a few weeks or until a later date and not go at all right now.
She assured me it would be fine to go ahead on the trip, that in two months they wouldn't change that much. In additon, she said she could have done it that week, but then I might have to be concerned with bleeding and bruising while packing.  And, again assured me she thought they were just calcium deposits. So, I made an appointment for August 13 to have the biopsy, the week after I was to return from my trip.

The next Monday, Norm and I went off on our adventure out west.  And, what an adventure it was!! Seeing the US from the back of the bike was awesome. And, what a beautiful and diverse country we have!! God has created a beautiful place for us to live! He gave me so many insights as we were traveling and having a blast.  During the trip, maybe once or so a week, the biopsy would come to mind. I would pray and tell God. God, you know all about this biopsy coming up in August. You know what it is and are in control. I have no control over it and worrying about it won't change one thing. Please take it and give me the peace of mind to enjoy this trip and face whatever it is when I get home. I know you will guide and direct me in every way. And, then I would go on with whatever I was doing. Only God can do that for you! As people, we like to worry and fret over issues and situations. Over the years I have found that doesn't work at all. God knows it all, has it all in control and will be with you during every situation in life. Praise Him!!  The only other thing I thought about in relation to the biopsy was that when my mother had a biopsy done many years ago, the doctors told her there was a 99.9% chance it was NOT cancer. 
Guess what? It was !!!! It was six weeks later that she found out and all during that time they told her there was a 99.9% chance it wasn't.  Folks, let us ever be careful with our words!!